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More funny Quotes and Sayings.

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Author Topic: More funny Quotes and Sayings.  (Read 1900 times)
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« on: September 13, 2006, 08:46:10 am »

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a mute person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented ?
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« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2021, 09:08:44 am »

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« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2021, 04:10:22 am »

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« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2021, 07:25:41 am »

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« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2021, 06:46:21 am »

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« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2022, 08:19:44 pm »

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« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2022, 09:28:45 am »

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« Reply #7 on: June 06, 2022, 11:58:08 am »

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« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2022, 11:59:22 am »

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« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2022, 12:00:33 pm »

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« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2022, 10:32:21 pm »

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